I have always loved and nurtured my heart and mind, as tools I've been given to navigate and interact with the world. I never thought to nurture, respect, or appreciate my body. I've often felt proud of my mind and heart but I've rarely felt proud of my body. For most of my life, I've seen my body as an obstacle, annoyance, or unmet goal. I've viewed exercise and eating as means to get a different or better body. Until now, I never viewed my body as a gift or tool. Chemo changed how I see and value my body in a powerful way. Throughout chemo, I detached from my body in a healthy, meaningful way. My detachment helped me get through the side effects of chemo and my cancer-related feelings. I existed in my heart and mind during chemo as much as possible. After chemo however, I came back into my body with much more awareness, gratitude, and love. My body could feel nausea-free, take walks in the Arboretum, eat flavorful food, show strength and so much more. I started practicing yoga with an old instructor two to three times a week in March. Yoga has powerfully impacted this time of transition for me and there aren't words to really express all that it has done for me. It's helped me appreciate, be present, and feel the strength in my body every time I practice. Some days I feel like I've been living in the dark. How could I have ignored and devalued this essential, precious part of myself for all these years?
My body is not just a means to feeling attractive or worthy. Seeking attractiveness or worth using my body seem like foreign ideas to me now. My body is a gift. It allows me to experience movement, pleasure, joy, and strength. Eating and exercising are ways to embrace and fully experience my body, not just means to a different body. It's crazy to think about the ways I've taken my body for granted over the years. Even after six months of challenging chemo, my body can get me to work, do yoga, laugh, dance, and so much more. It's capable of so much, even after trauma. I want to shout from the tops of rooftops " Love your bodies while you can. Your bodies are more amazing than you realize!"
We have started calling this new transition for me my "Body Love Revolution". And weirdly enough, that totally sums up how I'm feeling lately. Holy monkeys. Our bodies are amazing tools for health, pleasure, and joy. If you can for me, think of three things you are grateful for about your body and share them with someone in your life. We are so lucky to have mostly healthy, able bodies.
